You want to know what the best vibrators are for you. Vibrators are designed for and by women, for the moments when there is no man around. If there is a man in the neighborhood, the vibrator may stay in the bedside table. That is how you can think. I’m going to show you now that there’s another way to watch vibrators, dildos and other sex toys in a way that you can take advantage of it.
Not every woman likes vibrators, just as not every woman loves coffee. But many women do. The reason for many women is the vibratory function, which can cause an enormously intense clitoral pressure.
Benefits of a vibrator in bed
To begin with: sometimes it’s just easy. Certain women are insatiable, it seems. Or you are devastated by work, too much sex or for whatever reason. You have just had sex and you have already come. Your girlfriend or sexual partner has not yet reached its peak and is staring at your sip with a hopeful look or something will happen. You give her a broad smile and reach for the bedside table. Time for vibrator fun!
The vibrator is now also your best friend. Of course you want the vibrator to be clean, from previous times. The most important thing is that you show that you are completely comfortable with the use of your vibrator. If the vibrator is in your bedside table then you also immediately show that you are comfortable with it: you do not see the sex toys as competitors because for a guy like you there is no competition! That is the attitude you want to radiate.
This way you spoil her with a vibrator
The most important tip is not to see the vibrator as a drill. Think of it as a precision instrument. You are not a construction worker, but an artist, who wants to use his brush with exactly the right pressure and in the right places. Do not switch on the pleasure toy immediately, but move it slowly between her labia so that she can get used to the temperature first.
See the vibrator as an addition rather than replacement of the foreplay. You still want to finger her, touching and so on to take her step by step. Pay attention to the vibrator when you take it out of her pussy or it is really good wet. Only when that is the case you want to turn on the vibrator. Most vibrators have different positions and you want to start with a low setting. See how she responds to the stimulation.
This is how an elite lover goes about with a vibrator
Is she hornier than the vibrator to take as much area of ??her vagina as possible? Extend it to her outer labia, her clitoris and the inner walls of her vagina. Remember that it only adds to the total experience when you enjoy it in as many ways as possible. By occasionally licking and massaging her she will be able to sink deeper and deeper into the pleasure.
If that happens, enter the tempo and try different positions. Test different movements: pivoting, pumping, and discover which spots are the most sensitive. If you find yourself finding a sweet spot and she slowly climbs to her peak, make sure that there is less and less variation some variation is still greatly appreciated in the process and increasingly for constant movements.
Never be too heavy-handed or too rough. Use policy, as a true love artist, to guide her to its peak. You can imagine how she will see you when you can assist her in her most intimate games. Do not make the mistake of thinking that you can read her thoughts. Occasionally ask a question about the tempo, pressure and place where you use the vibrator.
Exchange horny porn with sweet talk and you push her in no time over the edge to an orgasm that promotes you to the premier league of the elite lovers. Behold her shocking body and the grateful look in her eyes. That is your work, the artwork of an elite lover and an artist.
Using a vibrator for the first time is exciting.
If you do not know what you are doing, it can even be unpleasant. Fortunately, it is easier than you think to get yourself ready with a vibrator, if you know what the right technique is.In this article you get a ready-made manual to pamper yourself with your new vibrator.
Not many women take the lead in taking back control of their own orgasm. You are so tough to find out how you can spoil yourself, because you are a strong and independent woman. So you already have that in the pocket.
If this is your first time with a vibrator, there are a number of things you need to know. It is not that the world perishes if you do it wrong. But it is much better if you know exactly how to play all sensitive parts of your body in the right way. There are some secret tips, which help you to find the right vibrator and get even more out of it.
If you have never used one before, you can become overwhelmed if you look at all the different models. There are thousands, so how do you make the right choice?
If you are using one for the first time, experts advise you to choose a simple vibrator in a not too large version. No bends, ridges, external clitoral stimulation or other frills.
95% of the techniques experts give you below are fine to do with such a cheap copy. You do not need the exotic options for a long time yet.And it is better that you first learn to use a vibrator by discovering what you like, than spending 100 dollars on a luxury model with all kinds of bells and whistles.
What can you do to get in the mood?
Here are some suggestions, choose what is applicable:
It is not recommended but using chastity device prior to getting yourself in to the mood and do your alone thing might be a good thing. Cause the device will force you to not to engage in sexual activities therefore increases the volume of your semen and the increases your sexual desire exponentially.
Make sure you are not disturbed. Wait until your roommates are gone, or lock your room door and close the curtains.
Make your bedroom sexy. Dim the lights put on an exciting tune and pull on an outfit where you feel attractive but being naked is also allowed. Watch porn. Here you will find my favorite porn movies for women and couples. Drink a nice glass of wine. Alcohol makes sure you can relax. Note: keep it with one. Take a warm bath and a face mask beforehand.
What do Lady Gaga, platform sneakers, and anal sex have in common? They’re all having a moment.
This morning, in the span of one hour, Truffle Butter played at my fave coffee shop (if you don’t know what that has to do with anal, two words: Urban Dictionary), an email about the launch of a new butt plug popped into my inbox, and my pal texted to ask which position—missionary or doggy—was a better position for first-time anal sex.
Still, the sex act we’re all intrigued by—and in some cases trying—is still shrouded in mystery. And, to be fair, it can be kind of intimidating. So, we tapped some sexperts to bring you a first-time anal sex how-to guide. To replace some of that confusion with clarity, read on for tips and tricks on how to prepare for anal sex that will make it as pleasurable, safe, clean, and orgasmic as possible.
1. Talk about it.
Sorry, folks, but you can’t introduce the tush without some chit-chat. For one, if you and your boo can’t talk about butt stuff, you’re probably not ready to do said butt stuff. Second, it will help make the actual act more comfortable and enjoyable for you both.
Everyone has a butt and anal sex can mean a lot of things, so, first, you’re going to want to decide what exactly is going down, says Amy Boyajian, co-founder and CEO of Wild Flower, an innovative online sexual wellness store. “Is penetration happening? Are toys going to be involved? Are there some things you don’t want to do? Are there other things you really want to try? What can be added—butt plugs, lube, condoms—to make your experience more comfortable?”
BTW, like all sex, anal sex is better when accompanied with foreplay. So, next, discuss what gets you both turned on, suggests Boyajian.
2. Experiment on your own.
“Before you even consider putting something in someone else’s butt, be sure to explore your own butt,” says Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., a sexologist and host of the podcast Sex With Dr. Jess. “If you’re not comfortable putting a finger in your own butt or exploring with a toy you are not prepared to penetrate another person’s butt, and vice-versa.”
Making your rear part of your masturbation session(s) will not only boost your confidence and comfort with anal play, but it’ll also help you learn your peach from a new ~dimension~. One good approach: Start with your go-to solo-sex moves. Then, lube up a fingertip and experiment with touch. “The chemical shifts that take place during arousal can help these muscles relax so that you can slide a finger inside,” says O’Reilly.
If you’ve never touched an anus before, it may feel foreign. Here’s what to expect: “You’ll feel two muscles contract around your finger: the external sphincter which you can contract and release at will, and the internal sphincter, which is an involuntary muscle, meaning it’s controlled by the autonomic nervous system,” says O’Reilly.
“Then, practice squeezing the external sphincter around your finger and allow it to release (like you’re pushing something out of your butt),” she says. When you’re comfortable, you can slide the finger little farther to feel the internal sphincter. Then, practice breathing slowly; you should feel it release slightly.
3. Clean up.
This is probably one of the first things you wondered about how to prepare for anal sex. FYI, poop is “stored” in the upper bowels—not the anal canal (aka far enough in that no penis is big enough to reach it). So the fear of poop droplets and fecal residue are a bit unfounded. “If you’re having regular and routine bowel movements, you should be more than in the clear,” says Evan Goldstein, M.D., CEO, and founder of Bespoke Surgical which specializes in helping men and women of all sexualities with anal play.
Still, “if you can, go to the bathroom 30 to 60 minutes before anal play, do,” says Alicia Sinclair, a certified sex educator & CEO of b-Vibe, an anal play product company. And a good shower also never hurts. “Washing off before anal sex can help make you feel clean and therefore more comfortable and sexy,” she says.
But if there’s no time to shower, an unscented baby wipe can do wonders, she says. Just don’t use this as a time to introduce new or different products or fragrances to your nether-bits, which could lead to irritation.
Ultimately, your primary goal here is to wash away any evidence of a bad wipe job (*shrug emoji*), and to make yourself feel clean so that you can enter the encounter with all the confidence of Gaga doing camp.
4. Maybe use an enema.
Turns out, an enema (the introducing liquid through the anus and into the large intestine to clear the bowels) is absolutely *not* a must to prepare for anal sex, says Sinclair. “But if you want to take extra precautions beyond a baby wipe or soap and water—which are definitely sufficient—you can use an enema for a deeper, more comprehensive clean.”
You can buy a disposable enema kit (sometimes called a “hot water bottle and syringe kit”) at your local pharmacy which will include a hot water bottle, a hose, a plug, and a rectal tip. Most disposable kits come with a laxative or saline solution; dump this out (it’s not necessary) and then rinse the bottle. About an hour before play, lubricate the tip (~foreshadowing~), either sit on the toilet or tub, insert the nozzle into your bum, and then squeeze the water into the hole. “Hold the water for 10 to 15 seconds, then expel it into the toilet. Repeat this until all the water being released is clear,” says Sinclair.
5. Stock up on lube.
Lube, lube, lube. Once more for the folks in the back: LUBE. This is non-negotiable. “Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating,” says Boyajian.
There a few considerations to keep in mind when making your lube purchase: “Water-based lubes are compatible with silicone toys and are easy to clean off sheets and clothes. Silicone lube has more of silky feeling and lasts longer, but can’t be used on silicone toys.” And remember: While oil-based lubes can be a great sexual lubricant, most oils are not compatible with latex condoms and barriers because they’ll break down the latex.
You might be tempted to add a numbing lube or cream to the mix. Please don’t, say the experts. “By temporarily numbing your butt (and by extension, your partner’s genitals during anal intercourse), you are not only less likely to stop if you experience a small tear and more likely to experience pain once the cream’s effects wear off,” says O’Reilly.
6. Don’t forget steps 1, 2, and 3.
So you and your partner have consensually agreed that tonight’s the night for anal sex. That isn’t a green light to pass “Go” and collect $200. Just as you warmed your bod up during your solo anal exploration, you want to be warmed up to prepare for anal sex too.
“Get yourself riled up using the techniques you normally use,” says O’Reilly. “Better yet, have an orgasm first…Your body is most responsive to pleasure and primed for arousal when your endorphin and oxytocin levels are elevated post-orgasm.”
7. Try rimming.
Oral-anal play has many names: Rimming, analingus, tossing the salad, to name a few. Whatever you call it, Dr. Goldstein is for it. “I highly recommend rimming for those about to engage in anal sex, as it will help get you relaxed and ready to receive!” he says. “It’s amazing what a little tongue action can do. It can help put the receiver’s mind at ease while warming them up to relax their sphincters.”
Still, there’s an undeniable…intimacy…of having someone’s tongue doing swirlies in and around your backdoor, so make sure you and your partner are on the same page before introducing tongue to the action.
8. Use toys to prepare for anal sex.
If you remember any single thing from this guide, make it this: Never insert anything into your butt that doesn’t have a flared base. Unlike the vagina, which comes to a full stop (hi, cervix), the rectum keeps going into the abyss of your GI tract. A flared base will keep any toy firmly rooted on the outside of your bod.
Once you have a trusty toy, use some lube, start slow, and insert the plug into your rear bit by (little) bit. “As the toy is being inserted, try to consciously relax to accommodate it. Then, have your partner remove it. Re-lube it, then insert again, suggests Dr. Goldstein. Repeat this technique of slow-in, slow-out five or six times, or until you can completely insert the toy.
If it feels good and comfortable, continue. “If it’s too much, it’s okay to end that session and then try again another day,” says Dr. Goldstein. “I instruct most of my clients to use a small plug for two weeks, then both a small and medium plug for the following two weeks, and then finally a large plug for two weeks.” Basically, going from zero to hero (err, penis or dildo) in one night is asking a lot of your anal sphincters.
Why does it take so long? Because your anal sphincters are a muscle, like your biceps. Exercising them increases your ability to flex and relax them on command. “Remember, since your anus is always in contraction mode, deliberate muscle relaxation is key for getting it into tip-top shape, and that takes exercise and practice,” says Dr. Goldstein.
9. Or a finger.
If you don’t have a toy on hand (heh), anal fingering is a good option. This will help your partner learn how your anus works, anatomically. “The nice thing about finger dilation is that your partner can massage the muscles in the anus to get them to fully relax, which should lead to the most pleasurable engagement,” explains Dr. Goldstein.
Generally, one finger is more than enough. “Just do what feels right and always be aware of your limitations. There are no awards given to whoever can get the most fingers inside!”
Dr. Goldstein notes that “long or jagged fingernails can lead to localized injury.” He suggests trimming and filing your nails so that there are no sharp edges or hangnails. Yikes. (Same goes for vaginal penetration, ICYDK.)
10. Now, onto the P- or D-in-B anal sex.
You feel it, you like it, you want it? You got it. If you and your partner have comfortably prepared for anal sex this far, pat yourself on the back (butt), grab the lube and get at it—slowly. There are lots of great positions, but for your first-time, doggy style, missionary (and lifted missionary), and spooning are best.
“Practice breathing deeply as your partner inserts a quarter-inch at a time,” suggests O’Reilly. “As the depth increases, practice mindfulness by tuning into your breath. You’ll likely find that your muscles relax as your heart rate slows.”
As your partner is filling you, play with other parts of your body that bring you pleasure at the same time, she suggests. “You might use your hand to rub yourself or use a powerful vibrator against your clit to ensure that you enjoy the entire experience.” (Like you needed convincing.)
Your partner may also lend a helping hand. But heads up: If your partner was using their fingers in your butt, they absolutely must wash their hands before touching your vagina, vulva, or clit, says Kim Langdon, M.D., an ob-gyn at Parenting Pod in Valley Cottage, NY.
No matter what, follow the golden rule of anal: If it’s painful, stop. It’s that simple. “Anal sex should be pleasurable. It should never hurt,” says O’Reilly. “If penetration is painful, stop and go back to doing whatever turns you on.”
11. Don’t forget protection.
There’s a misconception there’s no reason to wear protection during anal sex, but that’s not the case, says Felice Gersh, M.D. an ob-gyn and founder of the Integrative Medical Group of Irvine in Irvine, CA. “There are still STIs to worry about.”
“If your partner wears a condom and uses it properly, the degree of protection is excellent for such diseases as gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, hepatitis B and C, syphilis,” says Dr. Gersh. But because HPV, herpes lice, and crabs can be contacted through skin-to-skin (and pube-to-pube) contact, she and Dr. Langdon recommend wrapping it up *and* sharing STI-status with your partner.
12. Pick a side and only one side.
“Never ever should the penis or dildo travel from the rectum to the vagina,” says Dr. Gersh. “The rectum is highly contaminated with bacteria which can be transmitted to the vagina by the penis or dildo.” This, in turn, can cause a UTI, bacterial vaginosis, or other vaginal health issues. Um, no thanks.
The fix: Make sure your partner changes condoms before heading North. Wearing a condom protects your partner, too. “Having anal sex without a condom could lead to the male partner developing urinary tract infections as well,”